Affairs have the ability to destroy not just our relationship, but our entire lives.  In an instant, everything we thought we knew or believed in seems gone, along with our future plans, hopes, and expectations.  

Often, the assumption is that affairs only happen when someone is unhappy in their marriage or relationship.  In reality, people who are very happy in their relationship can and do have affairs also.  Either way, almost no one does it with the express intention of destroying the other person, and they are often shocked and ashamed by the depth of grief and suffering they cause.  

Understanding how the affair came about and attending to the resultant relationship trauma in a safe and healing way is the best way forward.  Trust and security in the relationship have been completely destabilised and it takes time, work, and commitment to restore this.  It is possible to heal such a betrayal, and furthermore, it is even possible to come out stronger and closer than you ever were before.